The Secret Diary of Boris Johnson Aged 13¼

Lucien Young

**STRICTLY UNOFFICIAL**

'Deliciously funny and highly impudent' - Jon Culshaw

The newly discovered diary of Boris Alexander de Pfeffel Johnson aged 13¼ provides a fascinating glimpse into how Boris a lazy bumptious and overweening child comes to believe he should be Prime Minister. Along the way we see him hone the techniques and persona that will one day hoodwink a nation.

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Extract from 13-year-old Boris's TEN RULES FOR LIFE:

It's not lying if you don't bother to learn the truth. Many people - politicians for instance - make the mistake of going about laden with facts and statistics. However when studiously ignorant of the aforementioned one may argue one's case with total conviction.

A friend is just an enemy you haven't yet made. Some say there's no 'I' in 'team'. Well I say you can't spell 'friend' without 'fiend'. No matter how dear your chum you never know what sort of treachery they harbour inside. After all there are many people who consider me a friend!

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